I'd like to use this public forum to describe a few situations we encounter while driving, and how to handle them properly. Some might say this is my virtual soapbox. I'm calling it Driving 99. Not even Driving 100. This is the remedial shit apparently everyone's forgotten.
Situation 1: When exiting a freeway and the off ramp offers you a protected right-hand turn lane, complete with a little graphic indicating that you are to merge with traffic, and there's no indication that should stop, THEN DON'T STOP! Please, people, don't stop and look over your shoulder. It's protected for a reason! This is to help traffic get off the freeway off ramp and merge easily with city traffic.
I don't want to get rear-ended at 70 miles per hour because some fuck is causing traffic to back up the off ramp. Please. Just drive like you're awake.
Situation 2: This should be easy. When you hear a siren, even if you're not sure where it is, MOVE TO THE RIGHT! It really doesn't matter if by moving to the right you'll miss a chance to make your left turn. It's not about you. It's about the person who's requested help from police or medical aid. Oh, and for god's sake people, when you're behind another car that's pulled to the right, do not rocket back into the lane after the emergency vehicle has passed to leap-frog ahead of the car in front of you. We're not all in a god damned rally race, okay? Just chill out.
Situation 3: Your windows are clear. You are not in a cocoon of invisibility when you drive. WE SEE YOU PICKING YOUR NOSE, okay? Jesus, enough already.
Situation 4: Do not attempt to give exact change at the drive-thru. Don't. Just stop it.
Situation 5: The "fast lane" is not the fast lane. It's the "passing lane" (at least in Washington). Move over.
Thank you. I know you're all God's children, but I think even God would be pissed if he had to drive behind all you morons. There'd be floods and all sorts of shit going down.
13 October 2007
10 October 2007
Floating Rocks & Music
I'm not inspired enough to write some lengthy piece that's all tied together. I'd rather just use bullet points. Or a PowerPoint presentation. Not really, but that'd be kinda funny.
Anyway, here are some noteworthy comments and stories from the last couple of days:
1. Last night I was fairly certain I was witnessing something supernatural as I watched a small rock - a pebble really - floating/spinning about three inches above the ground.
See, I was standing in a friend's driveway waiting for another friend to arrive, sorta kicking the gravel around aimlessly, when what appeared to be a small flake of ash floating around my feet caught my eye. I watched it for a moment, but then realized that it didn't make any sense for a piece of ash to float in place. There's no ash out there anyway. So I bent down to have a closer look and realized that the object was a pebble. Floating and spinning about two to three inches above the ground. It takes my brain a few seconds to process this. Then I start kind of freaking out. I reach out to touch the rock, but it moves away from my hand. A few more moments of panic. What the hell is going on? I'm thinking.
About the time I was seriously considering running to my friend's house screaming and crying, I realized there was a spiderweb attached to the pebble and to me. Whew! Seriously, though, it was an unnerving moment.
2. Music is a wonderful thing. Being able to play music is even more wonderful. I'm not "all that" by any stretch of the imagination, but I do okay. I'm fortunate - very fortunate - in that I've connected with other musicians who are willing and able to gather once a week. We play a lot of classic rock and contemporary rock, laugh a lot, tease each other, and consume beer. But we work hard at it, honestly. We're all a little bit on the perfectionist side when it comes to music. The thing is, these weekly gatherings are absolute therapy for me. I should be paying these guys. When you're playing music and you're in the pocket, there's no room for stress. I've been under a fair amount of stress lately (that's an understatement, by the way) and I noticed last night that is all gets pushed right out. It returns once that stimulus is gone, but man is it sweet while it's happening.
That's all for now. I know, uninspired, boring, etc... I don't care.
Anyway, here are some noteworthy comments and stories from the last couple of days:
1. Last night I was fairly certain I was witnessing something supernatural as I watched a small rock - a pebble really - floating/spinning about three inches above the ground.
See, I was standing in a friend's driveway waiting for another friend to arrive, sorta kicking the gravel around aimlessly, when what appeared to be a small flake of ash floating around my feet caught my eye. I watched it for a moment, but then realized that it didn't make any sense for a piece of ash to float in place. There's no ash out there anyway. So I bent down to have a closer look and realized that the object was a pebble. Floating and spinning about two to three inches above the ground. It takes my brain a few seconds to process this. Then I start kind of freaking out. I reach out to touch the rock, but it moves away from my hand. A few more moments of panic. What the hell is going on? I'm thinking.
About the time I was seriously considering running to my friend's house screaming and crying, I realized there was a spiderweb attached to the pebble and to me. Whew! Seriously, though, it was an unnerving moment.
2. Music is a wonderful thing. Being able to play music is even more wonderful. I'm not "all that" by any stretch of the imagination, but I do okay. I'm fortunate - very fortunate - in that I've connected with other musicians who are willing and able to gather once a week. We play a lot of classic rock and contemporary rock, laugh a lot, tease each other, and consume beer. But we work hard at it, honestly. We're all a little bit on the perfectionist side when it comes to music. The thing is, these weekly gatherings are absolute therapy for me. I should be paying these guys. When you're playing music and you're in the pocket, there's no room for stress. I've been under a fair amount of stress lately (that's an understatement, by the way) and I noticed last night that is all gets pushed right out. It returns once that stimulus is gone, but man is it sweet while it's happening.
That's all for now. I know, uninspired, boring, etc... I don't care.
Edible Phone Cards!
Uhh, good idea and all, but wouldn't this make your wallet/purse a little stinky?
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